


Everybody is done with alex and his mistake of a life (featuring even more sin!)

by DrunkenWhalers



Series: The Sin Tin™ [5]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (tm), Agender Character, Agender Peggy, And the Big Cheeto Man, Asexual Character, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Bitching Abt Mike Pence(tm), Crack Fic, F/F, F/M, Gay, Gay John Laurens, I promise, ITS GR8, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Pansexual Marquis de Lafayette, Talks of sex, actually its shit, also, also mentions of alex's bday, asexual angelica schuyler, bc yES, but didnt finish until last week rip, but lets be honest thats this whole fic, chat fic, ive been working on this since the day after the election, lets pretend it wasnt two weeks ago okokokok, lmao but when is that not a tag for me????????????????????????????????????, non-binary Lafayette, text fic, thanks my bi son thank, this is also a shout out to alex as it was his bday two weeks ago!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 17:19:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9452039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrunkenWhalers/pseuds/DrunkenWhalers
Summary: Gayturtle: thats not what your actions last night say,,,,Hamilmess: brb divorcing u see u in court!!!!!!!Gayturtle: ^^^ that makes me a sad pandaLiteralangel: jOHN WHAT DID I TELL U ABT MAKIBNG SOUTH PARK REFERENCES AROUND PEGGY THEY’RE A FUCKIN CHILDPeggarita: um i am actually 18 thank u v muchLiteralangel: c H I L DPeggarita: ok no need to attack me just let me be nonbinary and make memes in peace pls and thank





	

**Author's Note:**

> soz for not updating in moths i have have vvvvv bad writers block!!!!! also i havnt been here since trump one and im still crying. ok enjoy this piece of trash lmao

Lizard: IM SCARRED FOR LIFE

 

Peggaritta: what happened??????

 

Lizard: ALEX AND JOHN HAPPENED

 

Lizard: I JSUT WANTED TO RETURN ALEXS NOTEBOOK THAT HE LEFT AT MY HOUSE LAST WEEK WHEN WE ALL HAD THE MEME COMPITITION

 

Lizard: side note that was fukin lit af

 

Thefrenchiestfry:  merci mon ami u are gr9

 

Lizard: np u soft baguette 

 

Lizard: aNYWAYS

 

Lizard:AND WHAT DO I KOW WHEN I GO TO HIS DORM TO RTURN IT, JOHN IS FUKNIG HIM LIKE WTF THE FUCK

 

Lizard: I DONT NEED THIS SIN

 

Mistress: IM YODELING

 

Literalangel: #DEAD

 

Thefrenchiestfry: i am , how u say , repulsed

 

Peggarita: ^ same

 

Jeffersinner: ^^

 

Horsefucker: ^^^

 

Lizard: ^^^^

 

Kingmebitch: i am going to have to agree with the French Mistake ™

 

Thefrenchiestfry: ^^^^^im ?????????????? rude

 

Hamdogg: FUCK YOU ALL JFC

 

Lizard: nah ur too busy being fucked by johnny boy (((:

 

Hamdogg: ,,,,, im honestly triggered

 

Peggarita has sent a file : donaldtrumptriggered.png

 

Lizard: IM YELLIN

 

Hamdogg: IM GONNA SUE YOU JUST CAUSE ME PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE BY SHOWING ME THAT HUMAN PIECE OF TRASH

 

Gayturtle: i cant believe he won the election like jfc america

 

Lizard: yeah its been like three months and im still crying

 

Peggarita: ^^^same

 

Literalangel: i cant believe he was inaugurated the other day like???????????????????????

 

Thefrenchiestfry: ^^^^^^!!!!!!!

 

Hamdogg:im jjust scared i’ll be deported tbh

 

Gayturtle: wait u arent here legally????????? 

 

Hamdogg: yeah im not,,,,,,I came here on a plane when I was 17 from the caribbean

 

Mistress: okay hOW did i not know this???????????????????????????????

 

Hamdogg: u never asked lmao

 

Mistress: i fUCKED YOU LIKE TWENTY BLILLION TIMES AND U DIDNT TELL ME?!?!!!

 

Mistress: im suing

 

Lizard: tl;dr: short curly haired mistress sues Bi Mess ™  for not telling her he was an illegal immigrant

 

Hamdogg: ^^^ fuck off 

 

Lizard: what abt “best of wives and best of women”?? 

 

Hamdogg: that was b4 u roasted me 

 

Lizard: rude af

 

Gayturtle: i want bernie back rip

 

Thefrenchiestfry: tHE ONE THAT GOT AWAY

 

Peggarita: tHE ONEONEONE

 

Kingmebitch:lmao im british so i dont have to suffer lol ur fucked

 

Hamdogg: ^ shut up u toothbrush

 

Literalangel: alex ur a fuckin mess so u cant fukin talk shit aaaaaaA

 

Peggarita: u could say he is a ,,,,, hamilmess 

 

Jeffersinner: go home 

 

Jeffersinner: that was fukin uncalled for

 

Peggarita: but its true, is it not??

 

Hamdogg: ,,,,,agreed 

 

**_Hamdogg has changed their name to “Hamilmess”_ **

 

Gayturtle: i have never seen a more true statement in my life

 

Hamilmess: damn right you havent

 

Literalangel: no but seriously back to trump it isnt even /him/ that scares me so fukin much,,,,its mike pence

 

Peggarita: ^^^^ exactly like trump is bad but pence is even WORSE

 

Lizard: can someone tell me about how pence is worse than trump like idk anything about him

 

**_Hamilmess is typing_ **

 

Thefrenchiestfry: oh god here we go for another 10,000 word essay of screaming

 

Gayturtle: alex told me to tell you that that was only once and it was bc he was livid that charles lee got the main position in that debate team competition and he was v angry at gwash bc of it 

 

Hamilmess:why is mike pence even scarier than trump you may ask? Well for one pence supports gay conversion therapy, passing a bill even in indiana (which he governed up until trump won) that made it completely legal to use that method of “conversion” , even electric shock. He also was the one to pass the bill that pretty much said that businesses have the right to not serve lgbtq ppl due to their religious beliefs. He supported the bathroom bill in north carolina as well. And considering the fact that in leaked emails between one of trumps sons and henry kissinger it was revealed that trump p much wanted his vp to run the country, as trump wanted henry to be his vice. Pence 10x more  frightening for anyone who isnt a straight white cis christian man who makes 70 grand a year and lives in a large two story home with a fuckin white picket fence and a golden retriever.

 

Hamilmess: so yes, pence is even scarier than trump

 

Lizard: oh ok thats scary af

 

Mistress: im just still shook abt the fact that i had sex with alex and i didnt know he was from another country i am done with these lIES

 

Thefrenchiestfry: im just done with alex in general tbh

 

Horsefucker: rt

 

Literalangel: rt

 

Hamilmess: ))):

 

Peggarita: rtrtrt

 

Mistress: rt x 20

 

Kingmebitch: rtrtrtrtrtrtrt

 

Hamilmess: ok good not my john

 

Gayturtle: ,,,,,rt

 

Hamilmess: FOR FUCKS SAKE

 

Hamilmess: MY OWN BOYFRIEND

 

Hamilmess: bye im deleting

 

_ Hamilmess has left the chat _

 

Gayturtle: jfc alex

 

_ Gayturtle has added Hamilmess to the chat _

 

Hamilmess: ):<

 

Gayturtle: soz baby girl

 

Jeffersinner: ok thats kinky

 

Lizard: dont act like i havent seen your search history you mac n cheese fucker

 

Jefferson: YOU DONT KNOW SHIT

 

Lizard: oh yes i do

 

Lizard: remember when we went to angies a few months ago and slept over

 

Jeffersinner: ,,,yea

 

Lizard: well me and peggy took your phone when u were sleeping and looked through your texts with james,,,and let me tell u those were sINFUL

 

Jeffersinner: lies

 

Lizard: I HAVE THE RECEIPTS!!! 

 

Hamilmess: I NEED TO SEE

 

Thefrenchiestfry: ,,,,same

 

Mistress: ^^^^

 

Gayturtle: ^^^^ i need 

 

Horsefucker: ^^^ x 3

 

_ Lizard has sent two files: tJEFFNEEDSTOFUKNJNFECHILL.png and  _

_ dADDYKINKIMPISSING.jpg _

 

Hamilmess: AAAAAAAAAAAA IM YELLN

 

Gayturtle: tag urself im “bUT DADDY”

 

Hamilmess: ^ no thats me to you  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Hamilmess: anywho im “I’LL BE A GOOD WHORE” bc honestly that me

 

Mistress: im “I WANNA SUCK YOU LIKE A LOLLYPOP”

 

Jeffersinner: hOW DID YOU EVEN GET A HOLD OF THESE????????????????? THIS IS  A B U S E

 

Lizard: well we screencapped them, sent them to my phone and deleted all the evedince that it ever happened

 

Gayturtle: I love how everyone is ignoring alexs comment but ok

 

Literalangel: im “iM DONE!”

 

Jeffersinner: ^ with alex id think u would always be that

 

Literalangel: ur right lmao

 

Peggarita : also @ john the reason we are ignoring him is bc we dont need anymore to add to #singate

 

Lizard: ,,,,yea

 

Hamilmess: i would like to notify everyone that i have been certified Sin Free ™ since 1997

 

Gayturtle: thats not what your actions last night say,,,,

 

Hamilmess: brb divorcing u see u in court!!!!!!!

 

Gayturtle: ^^^ that makes me a sad panda

 

Literalangel: jOHN WHAT DID I TELL U ABT MAKIBNG SOUTH PARK REFERENCES AROUND PEGGY THEY’RE A FUCKIN CHILD

 

Peggarita: um i am actually 18 thank u v much

 

Literalangel: c H I L D

 

Peggarita: ok no need to attack me just let me be nonbinary and make memes in peace pls and thank

 

Kingmebitch: yea let peg make their memes they are p dank tbh 

 

Hamilmess: remember that one they made of tjeff with him photoshopped onto dat boi and we named it “boi u not dat” and printed it and put it everywhere

 

Thefrenchiestfry: c l a s s i c

 

Jeffersinner: I AM OFFENDED BRB GOING ON TUMBLR AND RANTING ABT HOW OPPRESSED IM FEELING RN!!!!!

 

Kingmebitch: but u already do that

 

Jeffersinner: ok tru

  
  


\-------------------------------------------

 

Hamilmess: gUESS WHOS BIRTHDAY IT IS TODAY??????????

 

Peggarita: cody simpson

 

Elizard: i remEMBER HIM JFC

 

Elizard: i remember seeing him on that horrible spinoff of sonny with a chance

 

Hamilmess: nO ITS MINE 

 

Elizard:,,,,

 

Peggarita: soz man i thought it was someone actually relevant

 

Gayturtle: sHOTS FIRED

 

Horsefucker: **makes airhorn noises**

 

Jeffersinner: good job pegleg u did it i am proud

 

Peggarita: thank dad

 

Hamilmess: I THOGUT I WAS UR DAD

 

Peggarita: ,,,,,,¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Gayturtle: babe i forgot!!!! Im so sososososo sorry!!!!!!!

 

Hamilmess: ))))))))))): 

 

Mistress: sorry man

 

Horsefucker: i thought ur birthday was in february???????

 

Hamilmess: u owe me john i dont deserve thIS

 

Gayturtle: ,,,i’ll repay you later ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Peggarita: aRE YOU-

 

\-----------------------------

**alex’s birthday surprise thingy woo**

 

Peggarita: tbh i feel bad abt having to lie to him

 

Thefrenchiestfry: oh well but we had to!!!! We need to give him the ///best/// birthday ever i mean i didnt rent out chucky cheese for nothing

 

Gayturtle: ^^^ Just Laf Things ™

 

Horsefucker: “Using Funds From Your French Family to Rent Out Childrens Attractions”

 

Thefrenchiestfry: ,,,,it only was like 2 grand ok

 

Horsefucker: ur lucky alex isnt here  bc he would be kicking ur ass rn

 

Kingmebitch: should i wear my alexander mcqueen shirt bc idk

 

Peggarita: dont you think that is a bit fancy for this ~~~occasion~~~~

 

Kingmebitch: nah man its not that fancy,,,,it was just like 5k no biggie lmao

 

Gayturtle: wow so the two token Foreign  ppl are both hoes for expensive ass things ok

 

Lizard: can you guys come over  me and angie need help making the bee movie/shrek  cake

 

Gayturtle: i still dont know why we are doing that but ok

 

Peggarita: for the Meme™™™™™™™™

 

Peggarita: speaking of which did u guys book  the wiggles impersonators the party wont be the same w/o them

  
  


 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave kudos and comments (please comments even more bc i live for them!!!!!!!) i will try to update soon rip


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